This is easily the hardest blog I've written thus far. Harder than The Destructive Cycle of Yo-Yo Dieting: A Personal Journey because I managed to do it, yet again. I gained 20lbs back even after I thought I had finally figured out how to eat in moderation, stay active without running myself into the ground and squash my sweet tooth when it rears its ugly head. I thought I finally nailed down habits that were sustainable rather than super-restrictive. Turns out, that's not the case.
This past year has been incredibly stressful for a couple reasons. When it comes to my full-time job, there has been a lot of uncertainty and changes that I was not well equipped to manage mentally and emotionally. And for over a year and a half, I've been chasing down the reason for my chronic low back pain (still to no avail). While life has thrown me some curve balls, it was no reason to fall back into old ways.
Halloween was the tipping point. We get candy for the neighborhood kids but always get more than we need. See my husband is the kinda person that can eat whatever he wants and never gain weight. He's also the kinda person that can eat one Reese's Peanut Butter Cup and put the bag away. I, on the other hand, am the polar opposite. So when we have a bag full of Halloween candy let's just say, it's like a bag of Lays to me (remember their slogan, "betcha can't eat just one"). One Reese's quickly turned into five or six. And throw a Snickers mini and Almond Joy in the mix for fun.
I gave myself permission because all year I had been able to maintain and even loose a few pounds, despite the challenges I faced. But my permission turned into a free-for-all. It didn't stop after Halloween and five or six Reese's quickly led to a box of cookies from Publix bakery. My occasional Halo Top treat turned into pints of Ben & Jerry's. And because I was so busy eating junk food, I didn't bother trying to eat the amount of protein I needed to at least sustain the lean body mass (muscle) I worked hard to build. This lean body mass was actually helping me burn more calories at rest. So as my muscle atrophied and my sweet tooth raged, I quickly started packing on pounds. Before I knew it, I had gained 20lbs over a matter of 3 months. That's right. That's not a mis-print. 20lbs in 3 months. That's gotta be some kind of record. I completely erased all the hard work I put in last year. And as expected, I even added a few extra pounds than where I was at the beginning of 2023.
So why am I sharing this? About 2 weeks ago I started the all-to-familiar journey back to better habits and started chipping away at the number on the scale. Now because I've done this over and over and over again, I know that this time will be harder than the last and the time before that and the time before that, physiologically (as explained here) and mentally.
I clearly have some work to do in the emotional eating arena and I need to revisit what I thought were habits that were sustainable. Something about what I did all last year didn't work in the long run. And I need to figure out what that was.
While I search for answers within, I wanted to share my story for anyone else that needs to know no one is perfect. We all slip. I'm a Certified Nutritionist so I KNOW what I have to do. But possessing the knowledge is one thing. Putting it into practice is something else entirely. In IT we call it "eating our own dog food." In other words, I need to practice what I preach.
Here's to hoping this is the last time I have to learn this incredibly hard lesson.
Thanks for reading,
Aimee
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your journey. I'll be cheering you on! You got this!